identity crisis . . .

lately ive been feeling like i dont know who i truly am .
im a completely different person in every possible situation . different with my friends , with my parents , online , etc . but honestly , ive been struggling to be able to tell who is real and who is fake . i feel like such a phony when i present myself online , but i dont feel that way in real life , as if the "real identity" that i can express online isnt actually that real . im so conflicted .
it feels like me . it does .
i think .
i used to be so excited to spend time online and be the "real me" that i cant be with my friends , but honestly now it just feels like im lying to everybody . ive even started to question my identity . it feels like im lying about everything ; my sexuality , my gender , my personality , my interests . . .
its gotten way out of hand at this point . i dont know who "pearl" is anymore . she doesnt feel like me . it feels like im drifting further and further from my online identity . my friends dont feel real . my opinions dont feel real either . no matter what situation im in , it just feels like im conforming to whoever else is there rather than just being my plain , true self .
who am i ? who is this person i present myself as ? which version of myself is who i really am ?
its all blurring together . . .
im so desperate for help . please , help .


signed ,

the webmaster